Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Welcome-My Story

Hello, and welcome to my blog. My name is Sarah, and I am a 28-year-old woman who married the love of my life and is a Bonus Mom (aka Stepmom-hate that word) to my Dh's awesome daughter. I am trying to find my place in everything as I go on a journey of being an overnight parent, dealing with the issues that come along with people's assumptions about stepparents and also wanting kids with DH even though he had a Vasectomy.

DH did reverse the vasectomy, and after a year of wasted time, we had the operation done only for it to fail. I remember the utter shock of the sperm analysis coming back with a big fat zero. I felt like I was punched in the gut. I cried and cried and cried until I actually popped a blood vessel in my eye. I got resentful, angry and asked questions like "When is my life going to start?!" My emotions have been all out of whack and it's been hard not to get into fights or blame DH even though I know he loves me if he is getting the reversal done. I will touch on all those struggles throughout this blog.

I wear a lot of hats. I am an entrepreneur, I run a fitness website, I am in the process of writing a novel and I am a stay at home wifey. I am also a Bonus Mom. I don't agree with the way stepparents don't have any rights, especially if they are doing the right thing and taking care of the stepkids and being a good influence in their lives. It is also hard being a childless stepmom, again, something I will touch on throughout the blog.

The struggles I mention and stories I mention in this blog may not pertain exactly to your situation, but I hope as you read them you can find a place in your heart to relate to them. This blog will become my way of sharing my story with the TTC community online and spreading the word about my now-changed view on vasectomies. Word of advice-don't get one!You  may regret it-again, more on that throughout the blog!

I will mention my YouTube channel from time to time, and feel free to check that out too, as well as this blog. I have yet to make a Facebook page on this as I do NOT want my NewsFeed blowing up with reverse vasectomy updates b/c there are some "bad seeds" out there who may see it. Bottom line is, YouTube and here will be my space to collect my thoughts and sort of organize all this noise in my head. I find writing to be very therapeutic and healing, and have found it brings answers and feelings out that have previously gone unnoticed or unanswered.

Please stay tuned as I get this page rolling. I ask that you recommend this page to anyone you know that may be a "bonus mom" or is trying to conceive, and certainly anyone who wants to follow my journey. I will touch on subjects that are important to me, even if off-topic but I expect this blog to be a positive place. I ask that no hateful comments be made on this blog, if you don't like what I mention or don't agree with me at all at any point then maybe this isn't the right blog for you. I will always put things delicately but not back away from my beliefs. This is my way of coping with the many challenges my life has thrown since my divorce almost two years ago. More on that later, too (it wasn't pretty-I lost everything including my two beloved dogs).

I have had every emotion under the sun regarding stepparenting, trying to conceive and infertility. I am under a lot of stress b/c DH is in a custody 'situation' we will leave it at that, and lots of our free time is spent discussing it and is full of tension. Currently, we are looking into our options for DH to get a re-do Vasectomy Reversal, but I cannot believe our luck has been so horrible for it to fail, I figured for sure he would just produce the sperm since he fathered a child before. Talk about wake-up call. 

From time to time, I may post fitness tips (I love fitness!) and playlists to get you dancing or grooving when  you're working out or hey, even cleaning the house (I need to remember to play music while doing housework!) Overall, I would like this to be a place where I can just sort of chronicle my journey while hopefully inspiring others in my situation or even those not in my situation. When I began searching the internet for help, I simply couldn't find anything. So I decided to create something.

So what are you waiting for? Follow my blog and I promise I will update! :) Hugs!


  1. Hi Sarah,

    Ive been searching for the last week straight trying to find a blog that relates to my current situation...Yours truly is closest that I found and maybe you can walk me through some of the trials and tribulations that I am experiencing because you have been through smiliar situations.

    Here is my situation:

    I am currently seeing an amazing, smart, fun, loving guy whom i work with on a daily basis. The first time we met sparks flew and our relationship has sky-rocketed into pure mutal bliss!!!!!!! After a year he still simply takes my breath away. (sorry for rambling im so in love) Unfortunately he is newly seperated from his wife...(who hates me) and has 2 beautiful kids (who dont hate me)...I am completely banned from even being mentioned in that house hold. which hurts my heart and puts a damper on our relationship. So back to the revelancy of my rant...He had a vasectomy performed 9 years ago...we are looking into the reversal with high high high hopes of having the procedure performed. Expense is not an issue for us and were deeply researching our options. It breaks my heart that your situation (as of your latest post) was unsuccessful. So heres hoping you can throw a little advice my way as to becoming a furure bonus mom (which i LOVE) to a 14 and 9 year old and the procedure that can alter out lives!!!!!!

  2. Quinn I am so sorry I have been so depressed. I am going to keep blogging I SWEAR. There is not enough out there for people in our situations! I have been really really depressed over being a childless stepmom and dealing with all that comes with infertility.

    I hear you about the ex. Um, did our man's exes team up and rally? lol. I will of course get more into this with you, but usually everything is great at first but then once things get more serious things get harder. Especially if you aren't able to have kids on your own, or if the kids start acting a certain way and you bring it to your man's attention and he gets offended. I will eleaborate more on this too. Of course, I am certain that you will need support throughout your journey so I am glad you're here!! i think that if you see my youtube channel and the videos you will learn a lot. My DH's procedure was a failure. We are now looking at IUI with donor sperm. BTW girl keep your head up, if you are gonna be a bonus mom you've gotta have a thick skin and appreciate how much you kick ass and will add to these kid's lives! :) Will write more later Xo